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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 20, 2003, at 19:54:50
In reply to God Bless Isabel, posted by rayww on September 18, 2003, at 15:34:14
Re: God Bless Isabel » rayww
Posted by Dena on September 19, 2003, at 19:30:30
In reply to God Bless Isabel, posted by rayww on September 18, 2003, at 15:34:14
Hey Ray!
As someone who lives in the path of Isabel, thank you for your prayers. We survived, although we have to boil our water for several more days - it could have been much worse - & it was for many people who lost so much...
My youngest daughter's name is Isabelle (she's 19 months). My 5 year old son told us that Isabelle's evil twin, Isabel was quite the trouble-maker!
I do have a sort of grief to share. One of our dogs, Sierra, whom we've had since she was a small puppy (she's 4) bit two of my young sons earlier this week. She's a Belgian Malinois - a breed often used by police & security people because of their intensity... we were warned (after we already had her for a couple of years) that they sometimes become aggressive as they get older. Sadly, that seems to have happened. I saw her bite one of my sons - so I know he wasn't teasing her - it was fear-aggression.
So, tomorrow, I have to take her to a gentleman who trains these dogs for drug-tracking & bomb-tracking. He loves these dogs & she really does need a "job". It'll be a relief to not have to worry about my children getting hurt, but it's so hard to let go of an animal you've become attached to. I look at her, & I feel so forlorn. I keep wondering what she'll go through once I drop her off - will she wonder why she's there, & if I'll come back? We're all she's ever known. My eldest son, who's almost 16, practically raised her, & she sleeps with him. He's being stoic about her leaving, but I think his grief will come out in other teen-acceptable ways - anger perhaps?
I have such a hard time saying good-bye - I've been doing it all of my life (former army brat - I moved 30 times by the time I was 30, including three high schools). I've said good-bye to my baby lately, & now my dog (I wish this didn't sound so trite). The dog has given me more annoyance & frustration than pleasure over the years - but I feel as if I'm failing her - I didn't train her as best as I could have - should have. (here I go, "shoulding" on myself!)
I'll still have my beloved Savannah, my white German shepherd... but leaving Sierra with a stranger is going to be hard.
I feel silly for going on about my grief over a dog, when so many of you have lost people dear to you. I don't mean to be insensitive... it's just what's on my heart tonight.
Shalom, Dena
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Re: God Bless Isabel » Dena
Posted by Dinah on September 19, 2003, at 23:05:48
In reply to Re: God Bless Isabel » rayww, posted by Dena on September 19, 2003, at 19:30:30
I'm sorry about your dog, Dena. But it sounds like you've found her a position where she'll be happy and your family will be safe. Some dogs just need more work than a family can provide. They're happier when they have a job. Don't feel guilty about it, or feel guilty about being sad about it. They are part of our families. You did your best for her.
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Re: God Bless Isabel » Dinah
Posted by Dena on September 20, 2003, at 18:01:37
In reply to Re: God Bless Isabel » Dena, posted by Dinah on September 19, 2003, at 23:05:48
Thanks, Dinah. You always seem to know just what to say.
I just got back from taking my dog to her new owner. It was harder than I thought it'd be. My oldest three children were with me - my eldest, Joshua, practically raised Sierra from a puppy. He's such a stoic personality - he didn't show his pain, but it was there.
Her new owner is going to train her to become a working dog, but he said she'd probably end up in his bed, by the way she was being so friendly toward him.
It's always so hard to let go of those we've loved.
Shalom, Dena
Posted by shar on September 21, 2003, at 2:47:39
In reply to Redirected: God Bless Isabel, posted by Dr. Bob on September 20, 2003, at 19:54:50
>
> I feel silly for going on about my grief over a dog, when so many of you have lost people dear to you. I don't mean to be insensitive... it's just what's on my heart tonight.
>
> Shalom, Dena
Dena,
Grief (like love) is not an either/or situation. You can 'go on' about Sierra and what her loss will mean to you and your son, while still having empathy and sympathy about people who have lost others dear to them.I know you know this, but it is an easy trap to fall into (comparing tragedies, what 'deserves' attention), when, in reality, we have plenty of grief, love and empathy to go around for everyone.
I'm glad you're ok, and your 5-year-old sounds like quite a pistol (the evil twin comment...lol).
Take good care,
Shar
Posted by Dena on September 21, 2003, at 18:08:19
In reply to Dena's Sierra, posted by shar on September 21, 2003, at 2:47:39
Posted by Rach on September 22, 2003, at 1:14:11
In reply to Dena's Sierra, posted by shar on September 21, 2003, at 2:47:39
Dena, my Nan died about a month ago, and I had to put down my (15 year old) kitty a month before that. My grief over my kitty is much worse than that for my Nan. My love is no different, but the grief is. I can't explain why, and I don't see why I should explain it. We feel what we feel. There doesn't have to be a logical explanation, nor does anyone else need to understand. Be true to your own feelings, let them run their course, and remember all the fun times.
all the best.
Posted by Susan J on September 22, 2003, at 12:28:13
In reply to Redirected: God Bless Isabel, posted by Dr. Bob on September 20, 2003, at 19:54:50
Hello,
I know it's got to be devastating to your older son (and you) to give away your dog. Every dog owner's nightmare -- the dog hurts (be it intentionally or not) someone innocent.
I think giving your dog to a police unit (that right?) is a great idea! They generally train with one officer, who keeps the dog at home and feeds him, so the dog gets socialized well. And the dog learns a job which they love to have.
And I want to try and put your mind at ease about your dog feeling left. If your dog is taken care of, given a fixed schedule, and given proper human affection, he should be fine. I'm not saying he won't miss you, but he will adjust. At least, this is what the guy at the kennel told me, dogs usually settle down and seem happy after a day or two, once they learn the routine. And if your pup is getting affection/socialization with humans, he should be just fine. It's sad to lose him, I know.
My heart goes out to you, but I think you made a wonderfully kind and humane decision. :-)
Susan
Posted by Dena on September 24, 2003, at 7:41:09
In reply to Sierra will be OK. :-) » Dr. Bob, posted by Susan J on September 22, 2003, at 12:28:13
Thanks Susan for taking the time to reassure me.
Sierra is with a man who trains dogs for bomb & drug sniffing. Being here in the nation's capital, there's a huge need for such dogs. She'll live with him in his home, along with 6 other dogs (he's got several more dogs in a kennel). Right now, she's adjusting to the change - then he'll start her training.
I called yesterday to check on her progress. For the first few days, she wouldn't eat, & kept going out to the car, as if she wanted to come back home. She stayed in her crate (which she hates to do) rather than socialize. Apparently she's begun to eat (she's had spaghetti, chicken & garlic bread! but no dog food yet), & she played ball with her new trainer/owner. He says she'll adjust just fine.
It's still hard here, expecting to see her around the corner, & my other dog misses her (the cat sure doesn't). My son is still being stoic about the whole thing - he doesn't show his feelings very often.
I know we've done the right thing - if she'd bitten someone outside of the family, we might have had to have her destroyed. This way, she gets to help others.
I think I can let go now...
Shalom, Dena
Posted by Parisss on February 11, 2004, at 22:08:24
In reply to Re: Sierra will be OK. :-) » Susan J, posted by Dena on September 24, 2003, at 7:41:09
Hi, I commend you on your affection. I have my huskey indoors and over 7 years to become family. She too sleeps with me and I have never seen an animal shed as much. I swear, if I get off the phone with someone 700 miles away, they too will walk away with white fur! (ok, exaggeration)
I must confess something that I don't think I will ever forgive myself of. I got very sick, I lost my house, my career job and was forced into a rapid move to government subsidized apartment. I had 2 cats and my dear dog. I loved those cats as well (one in particular really was part of my heart). I could not take the animals. I had no place for them and only a couple of days to find homes.
I found a place for my dog temporarily, but no place for my cats. I called all no-kill shelters, private organizations, animal rights people, etc etc... I finally took the cats out in the country (Tennessee) and put out food for a week, water bowl and put them out of the car. This was too far back for traffic and there were farm houses with other cats and childrens toys outside. I told my kids that I found homes for them in the country. Wonderful homes, kids, animals, all the space they could want. I lied and worse than that, I grieve often over them and worry what became of them. I drove back there a couple of times, but never saw them.
They had been 1/2 indoor cats so they knew the outdoors, but I still can't shake the betrayal and worry. That was about 4 years ago and I am not sure I will ever forgive myself.
This is the end of the thread.
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