Psycho-Babble Grief Thread 264973

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My Mother Died

Posted by Aceex on October 2, 2003, at 14:57:11

I am a 48 year old female. My mother died August of 2002. We had a very tumultuous relationship and I didn't speak to her for many years. My childhood included physical and sexual abuse by her numerous boyfriends. Additionally, she was diagnosed as a Paranoid Schizophrenic and she abused alchohol and diet pills.

In any case, about a year before she died, I decided to call her and attempt to salvage whatever relationship was left. What I found was a sick and helpless old woman. The "monster" I had known was gone. It took years of therapy for me to take this step and I am very grateful that I did.

We did make amends to each other and I discovered the person that she was; and all of the dimensions that made up the woman - my mother.

Although it has been just over a year since her death, I still miss her desperately and just writing this causes me intense pain, sadness and guilt.

I know there is nothing I can do to change the past. I know that she did the best that she could and had no control over her sickness. We were both victims. But still...I would do anything to have her back for another day.

Thank you for reading until this point. Any feedback is welcome.

Re: My Mother Died

Posted by libberty on October 3, 2003, at 21:32:43

In reply to My Mother Died, posted by Aceex on October 2, 2003, at 14:57:11

HI Aceex,
I thought what you wrote was a beautiful tribute to a Mom whom you obviously loved in spite of herself. I thought of my Father who passed away in April 1997, he too had a drinking problem and was very abusive when I was younger. After my Mom died in 1991, He turned into a kitten and I saw the grief he had for his years of marriage and also for the loss of so many years of his life to alcohol. He was a Vet and I feel this was a legacy for him.
I hope you find comfort in knowing you made the connection with your Mom, that took strength and the love you have for her will live forever.

God bless u,

dee

Re: My Mother Died

Posted by shar on October 3, 2003, at 23:38:08

In reply to Re: My Mother Died, posted by libberty on October 3, 2003, at 21:32:43

How wonderful that you were able to make amends. What a blessing that was.

Shar

Re: My Mother Died

Posted by Sebastian on October 28, 2003, at 12:17:13

In reply to My Mother Died, posted by Aceex on October 2, 2003, at 14:57:11

I am inpreased at how well you can handle this.

This is the end of the thread.

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