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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LeilaH on May 17, 2004, at 15:30:30
Hello all...I am looking for some advice. My quality of life is rapidly diminishing, I am about to lose my job, and I am entertaining the thought of taking the "easy" way out without even realizing it, I am disturbed by suicidal thoughts. I am 25 years old, single, no children, and I am having the most horrible time with what I think may be a severe depression, or anxiety. I have experienced depression before, as well as manic episodes, but it was mostly when I was an adolescent. Now, I literally can't find a reason to get out of bed, I have been late for work for consecutive weeks, and I am plagued with nightmares of my childhood, seemingly out of the blue, that has my stomach twisted in knots by the time I do wake up, usually hours past when my alarm was originally supposed to wake me up. I hear glass breaking when I try to fall asleep, I relive scenes of domestic violence when I close my eyes, and I have been fine for years, I don't understand. I was prescribed 20mg of Fluoxetine a day, and I have been taking them for nearly 8 weeks now...it's getting much worse, even with the pills. I am going through Native American health services for free help, and the doctors won't talk to me, they seem to have time to prescribe this pill and that's it, out the door. I am very afraid that I am going to lose it soon; I need help. Please, if anyone knows of somewhere that I can turn to, I live in Oklahoma City, and I really do want to get better.
Thank you,
~Leila
Posted by imlaurie on May 17, 2004, at 16:56:55
In reply to I just want to be normal, posted by LeilaH on May 17, 2004, at 15:30:30
I have been suicidal before and I know how it feels. Get yourself to a hospital ASAP. Maybe the meds you are on are making you feel worse. That happens, everything is not for everyone. I mean it, you need to go get help! Go to the emergency room of the closest hospital as quick as you can.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on May 17, 2004, at 19:42:29
In reply to I just want to be normal, posted by LeilaH on May 17, 2004, at 15:30:30
Hi LEILA.Welcome to Babble and sorry you feel so badly.....IF youre feeling suicidal PLEASE CALL 911 OR GO TO ER...THEY WILL LISTEN TO YOU...and get the the proper help...you may want to see the docs again and take your post print it out ....they need to know you feel discounted and are not being helped by those meds..I am thinking ER may help you the most cause the can refer you..or...get you on meds and talk therapy that will help and work..you may spend a night or two.... a lot of what you talk on sounds much like what I have...PTSD...the sleep and dreams part....
HUGS AND PLEASE UPSDATE US
> Hello all...I am looking for some advice. My quality of life is rapidly diminishing, I am about to lose my job, and I am entertaining the thought of taking the "easy" way out without even realizing it, I am disturbed by suicidal thoughts. I am 25 years old, single, no children, and I am having the most horrible time with what I think may be a severe depression, or anxiety. I have experienced depression before, as well as manic episodes, but it was mostly when I was an adolescent. Now, I literally can't find a reason to get out of bed, I have been late for work for consecutive weeks, and I am plagued with nightmares of my childhood, seemingly out of the blue, that has my stomach twisted in knots by the time I do wake up, usually hours past when my alarm was originally supposed to wake me up. I hear glass breaking when I try to fall asleep, I relive scenes of domestic violence when I close my eyes, and I have been fine for years, I don't understand. I was prescribed 20mg of Fluoxetine a day, and I have been taking them for nearly 8 weeks now...it's getting much worse, even with the pills. I am going through Native American health services for free help, and the doctors won't talk to me, they seem to have time to prescribe this pill and that's it, out the door. I am very afraid that I am going to lose it soon; I need help. Please, if anyone knows of somewhere that I can turn to, I live in Oklahoma City, and I really do want to get better.
>
> Thank you,
> ~Leila
Posted by Caper on May 18, 2004, at 3:05:43
In reply to I just want to be normal, posted by LeilaH on May 17, 2004, at 15:30:30
Hi Leila,
My heart goes out to you, since I've been where you are.
I agree with the other responses to your post: when you are really at your wit's end, go to a hospital emergency room. No matter what your insurance situation, they will take care of you, either in that hospital (if it has a psych ward) or they will find another hospital that can take you.
I've been in a few different psych hospitals from the time I was 23 (I'm 31 now) and they really can help. They get your meds straight, plus you get to live for a short time with people who suffer similar problems. That helped me LOTS because before my first admission I felt like I was the only one.
If you've been manic in the past you may be Bipolar (either type I or II) and need a mood stabilizer as well as an anti-depressant.
But please, please, don't give up! You don't really want to die, you just don't want to feel so awful any longer. And you don't have to- there are so many treatments available now! With a little luck and persistence you'll find the right one for you.
One more thing: lots of people are afraid of going to the ER because they are afraid of inpatient psychiatric treatment. Please don't let that stop you. The admissions are usually pretty short, (generally 3-10 days) so you don't have to worry about getting "locked up" for months or anything like in the movies! Also, I'll be honest: yes, some places are a little scary for the first few hours, but after that you realize the others are people just like you: in pain but with the courage to try to get better. I think other patients sometimes helped me as much as or more than the doctors.
Finally, if you have any questions or just want to talk, my e-mail is Caper@playful.com. I'd be glad to tell you all I can about my own inpatient experiences, or to just listen if you want to talk more about why you're feeling bad.
Best wishes,
Caper
> Hello all...I am looking for some advice. My quality of life is rapidly diminishing, I am about to lose my job, and I am entertaining the thought of taking the "easy" way out without even realizing it, I am disturbed by suicidal thoughts. I am 25 years old, single, no children, and I am having the most horrible time with what I think may be a severe depression, or anxiety. I have experienced depression before, as well as manic episodes, but it was mostly when I was an adolescent. Now, I literally can't find a reason to get out of bed, I have been late for work for consecutive weeks, and I am plagued with nightmares of my childhood, seemingly out of the blue, that has my stomach twisted in knots by the time I do wake up, usually hours past when my alarm was originally supposed to wake me up. I hear glass breaking when I try to fall asleep, I relive scenes of domestic violence when I close my eyes, and I have been fine for years, I don't understand. I was prescribed 20mg of Fluoxetine a day, and I have been taking them for nearly 8 weeks now...it's getting much worse, even with the pills. I am going through Native American health services for free help, and the doctors won't talk to me, they seem to have time to prescribe this pill and that's it, out the door. I am very afraid that I am going to lose it soon; I need help. Please, if anyone knows of somewhere that I can turn to, I live in Oklahoma City, and I really do want to get better.
>
> Thank you,
> ~Leila
Posted by LeilaH on May 18, 2004, at 10:09:45
In reply to Re: I just want to be normal » LeilaH, posted by Caper on May 18, 2004, at 3:05:43
If I go to an ER without insurance, will I put myself in serious debt? I want to get better, I don't want to add thinking of how to pay a huge medical bill after missing up to a week of work to my list of stress factors.
Thank you,
~Leila
Posted by Caper on May 18, 2004, at 18:21:02
In reply to Re: I just want to be normal, posted by LeilaH on May 18, 2004, at 10:09:45
Hi Leila,
I can't really give advice about missing work since I don't know enough about your particular situation, but I can share my experiences with ER bills.
I've been to Emergency Rooms for psychiatric problems without insurance before. I had a few different experiences.
First time, I had overdosed (which was stupid of me- do NOT do this!) and was kept about two days. I did get a bill for about $2000, which sounds bad I know. But you have to remember, hospitals are usually very willing to make a payment arrangement that you can afford. I paid between 5 and 20 dollars a month for a long time until it was finally paid off. Just don't totally ignore their bills- that's when they come after you with bill collectors and lawsuits and stuff. In general though, as long as you are paying regularly, the amount can be very tiny.
Another time, I was suicidal and admitted it. The hospital called a mental health person from the county community services board and she got me placed in a very nice private psychiatric hospital and I didn't have to pay for that at all. The private psych hospital had an arrangement with the county to accept patients who had no insurance when the hospital had the space available. So for that time, I only got a tiny bill from the ER because all they really did was put me in a room and keep a watch on me until the county mental health person could find a place for me.
So try not to worry too much about the bills from hospitals. As long as you are paying _something_ each month after making an agreement with them, you should not be harassed. Same thing goes for the ER docs who treat you. As long as you admit to them that you owe, they are almost always good about being patient and agreeing to small payments. They do this I think because they'd rather get paid slowly than not at all- which is what would happen if they demanded money we just didn't have.
I hope this wasn't too rambling and made some sense. Bottom line is, if you have to go to the ER to get the help you need then please do it! Money things will work out later on, they always do. Your health and well-being come first. If you don't have those, nothing else matters.
One last tip: if you can, go to a large hospital that has it's own psychiatric ward. This will mean a shorter wait in the ER and you'll get a more aggressive and comprehensive treatment as far as your general medical health and how it relates to your mental state. It was at a big hospital that I was diagnosed with very low potassium and magnesium, plus SEVERELY low thyroid levels, which were all contributing to my depression. Doctors there were also very knowledgeable about medications, including things that were very new.
I'll be thinking of you and wishing you well. Please don't give up hope- things can and will get better. You probably just need a more intense treatment for a short time. A time to focus on getting better and a time when you don't have to pretend to feel okay when you don't. Good luck!
Caper
> If I go to an ER without insurance, will I put myself in serious debt? I want to get better, I don't want to add thinking of how to pay a huge medical bill after missing up to a week of work to my list of stress factors.
> Thank you,
> ~Leila
Posted by partlycloudy on May 19, 2004, at 16:53:13
In reply to I just want to be normal, posted by LeilaH on May 17, 2004, at 15:30:30
Welcome to babble, Leila. As with the other posters, please get yourself some ER help. You'll find that this place is a wonderful resource for advice, support, love, and friendship. Remember, you're never alone here.
Posted by anxious babe on May 20, 2004, at 20:33:19
In reply to Re: I just want to be normal, posted by partlycloudy on May 19, 2004, at 16:53:13
Leila...I can't say anything that hasn't already been said in all the other posts, but just know that you have friends here that are willing to listen and help you.
Please don't hesitate any longer and go and get help. you will be in my prayers.God bless,
anxious babe
If you need to talk directly my email address is fknight1@hotmail.com
Posted by Fallen4MyT on May 23, 2004, at 22:37:02
In reply to I just want to be normal, posted by LeilaH on May 17, 2004, at 15:30:30
Hi Leila I have been gone a lot cause its summer and I have been busy but I was wondering how you are and wanted to say...the cost depends on insuranced and what the hospital is willing to waive..I just know you are worth it so I hope you went or go..Let is know as we care
Posted by Caper on June 2, 2004, at 21:46:54
In reply to Re: I just want to be normal » LeilaH, posted by Fallen4MyT on May 23, 2004, at 22:37:02
Hi Leila,
Your previous posts really touched me and I wanted to see if you've gotten any help yet. I hope things are working out, but if they are not please keep posting. Maybe between all of us we can make a plan to get you feeling better.
Good luck and best wishes,
Caper
Posted by LeilaH on June 3, 2004, at 9:49:15
In reply to Leila, are you okay?, posted by Caper on June 2, 2004, at 21:46:54
> Hi Leila,
>
> Your previous posts really touched me and I wanted to see if you've gotten any help yet. I hope things are working out, but if they are not please keep posting. Maybe between all of us we can make a plan to get you feeling better.
>
> Good luck and best wishes,
>
> Caper
Hi all...thanks so much for all of your help, it means the world to me to know that someone has been there and cares about what is happening to me. I am sorry for not posting sooner, I have not been online because I have not been working a very structured schedule at all. I feel like avoiding everyone, which is very unlike me, if you knew me; if I do work, I come in after hours so I don't have to talk to anyone, and that is only if I know I can concentrate, which is hard sometimes. This is unlike me as well, my job is usually nearly everything to me...my boss has been wonderful for letting me keep my job through all of this, I let her know that I was having a hard time, and she assured me that I could work around whatever I needed to. I have an appointment today at an income-based mental health clinic for a better look at my prescribed meds, I am praying that I will be able to get the help that I need this way. They also have referred me to an area YWCA for support group therapy specific to the trauma that I have experienced, which should help as well. I am hanging on, friends, and I am trying to get help. Thank you so much for your thoughts and wishes, I will keep you posted.With Hope,
~Leila
Posted by Caper on June 3, 2004, at 21:13:20
In reply to Re: Leila, are you okay?, posted by LeilaH on June 3, 2004, at 9:49:15
Hi Leila,
I'm so glad to hear you're taking action, and that your boss is so supportive too.
Hang in there. Things will get better, they always do if you have patience. True, you might become depressed again another time, but you will have learned how to recognize it early and leared what to do so it will not becomes so severe.
Regarding support groups, I say go for it. As a veteran of several psych hospitals, I can say I always got the most out of (meaning got better for the longest periods of time) group therapy sessions in which the therapist was competent and able to "direct" the group productively. It's just so comforting to know you are not alone in your trauma/troubles.
I wish you the best and I'm pulling for you! Good luck!
Caper
P.S. The best therapist I ever had was from an income-based mental health clinic- she was awesome! I hope you have similar luck.
> > Hi Leila,
> >
> > Your previous posts really touched me and I wanted to see if you've gotten any help yet. I hope things are working out, but if they are not please keep posting. Maybe between all of us we can make a plan to get you feeling better.
> >
> > Good luck and best wishes,
> >
> > Caper
>
>
> Hi all...thanks so much for all of your help, it means the world to me to know that someone has been there and cares about what is happening to me. I am sorry for not posting sooner, I have not been online because I have not been working a very structured schedule at all. I feel like avoiding everyone, which is very unlike me, if you knew me; if I do work, I come in after hours so I don't have to talk to anyone, and that is only if I know I can concentrate, which is hard sometimes. This is unlike me as well, my job is usually nearly everything to me...my boss has been wonderful for letting me keep my job through all of this, I let her know that I was having a hard time, and she assured me that I could work around whatever I needed to. I have an appointment today at an income-based mental health clinic for a better look at my prescribed meds, I am praying that I will be able to get the help that I need this way. They also have referred me to an area YWCA for support group therapy specific to the trauma that I have experienced, which should help as well. I am hanging on, friends, and I am trying to get help. Thank you so much for your thoughts and wishes, I will keep you posted.
>
> With Hope,
> ~Leila
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